wall.  This is pretty disconcerting to many people who like to feel that all his attention is focused on them.  If you're the sort of person who needs this kind of concentrated attention, avoid Gemini.  He's simply not capable of shutting out the stimuli around him.  It doesn't mean he's not interested.  It does mean he's not that involved.  Deep involvement or commitment is difficult for him.  It's not that he needs a lot of rope.  It means he needs no rope at all.  Then, if you're not paying too close attention, you might discover to your surprise and pleasure that he's still there. 

The Gemini Lover

In traditional astrology, Gemini is said to get on best with he other two airy signs, Libra and Aquarius.  This sounds great on paper.  But no person is just one sign, and also like doesn't always attract like.  Sometimes they bore each other.  And while Gemini has a lot in common with the other air signs, and many communicate with them in the realm of ideas, he has an irresistible attraction to the water signs - Pisces, Scorpio and Cancer.  This is because Gemini usually has a pretty hard time both knowing what he feels subjectively about things and expressing those feelings to anyone else.  When he gets around those watery types, he loosens up.  He's often fascinated by their disinterest in rational explanations, and charmed (or alternatively, terrified) by their lack of embarrassment about their own emotions.  Now, we've mentioned a little about air-water relationships.  They often produce steam.  Fog, mist, sleet.  And other manifestations of two queerly incompatible yet magnetically attracted elements. 

A Geminian friend of mine once referred to discussions about emotional affairs as 'swamp trips'.  This pinpoints very nicely Gemini's characteristic attitude toward relationships when they try to begin to get a little heavy.  Like a swamp:  damp, suffocating, dangerous, dark, full of things that bite and pull you down into the mire.  The typical Gemini is often positively terrified of emotional demands.  Yet he has a propensity over and over again, of landing himself in relationships with people who are basically feeling-oriented people.  And these watery folks are often full of admiration and fascination for Gemini's versatile mind, yet need a more instinctual kind of rapport for heir own fulfillment. 

It's almost as though Gemini, the eternal butterfly, trying to solve the mystery of the multiple people he feels himself to be, longs for a safe and emotionally secure relationship to help him feel a little less fragmented.  If he can find someone who loves all those different faces in him, then maybe, he hopes, he'll learn to love them himself.  Gemini's relationships, when they're of this kind, can go one of two ways.  The left-hand fork ends with the partner feeling emotionally frustrated, starved for affection and closeness, rejected and shut out.  Gemini, in his turn, feels oppressed, suffocated, bored, and caged.  It's a sad scenario, this one, and fraught with heavy blame on both sides - although you won't often hear Gemini complaining loudly about his emotional vicissitudes.  He'll more often make a joke of the whole thing, or an ironic and witty remark, and keep the entire thing quietly buried along with other disturbing encounters which he doesn't dare probe to understand.  And he'll probably come away from it with a little less confidence in his own reliability - which is never very great anyway - and will then move on into the next relationship, without quite realizing what went wrong. 

The right-hand fork of this road is a lot happier.  Given time and communication (any relationship for Gemini must have communication) and understanding, Gemini can often ground himself a little better through a relationship, and learn to look inward a little more.  He can begin to discover his own needs and sensitivities, which he often overlooks, and this discovery (that he has feelings too - helps his habitual condemnation of other people's needs as devouring and possessive.  All too often, he attracts highly maternal types who smother him with solicitous care and gently condescending

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