for happiness is the same here as for the Virgo shadow.  A good liberal dose of the child:  to gamble, to play; a dash of recognition that what is useful is not always necessarily what is living and meaningful.  And occasionally to be mistaken, to occasionally be a fool, because in our most ancient mythologies the fool is holy. 

The Virgo Man

Some of the best Virgoan qualities make their appearance in the Virgo man in love.  One of this is his desire to be needed, and his generosity and helpfulness.  If you need support, talking, understanding, or material assistance.  Always reasonable, the Virgo man will often draw you out about your problems, and he loves to offer advice.  Give him a problem which is solvable and he'll attack it like a chess game, and often his detached insights are useful and constructive.  There's also a safe feeling about him, and a love of truth and accuracy.  And Virgo rarely pretends to be anything other than himself.  You won't get pushed into the corner to play adoring audience as you might with a Leo or Aries man. 

On the other hand, the Virgo man's self-control and coolness can be infuriating.  He's sometimes the sort of person who insists on hanging his coat up carefully before he kisses you, because first things must come first.  Sometimes he's horribly socially sensitive, and will avoid touch in public because 'somebody' might notice that he's not completely in control, or discover that he has passions.  And taken to extremes, you also might have to cope with the scheduling of everything including courtship - which always comes second to work - and even sex - which also comes second to work. 

Remember that it isn't easy to be a Virgo man.  The sign, like Pisces, is sensitive and vulnerable, and doesn't easily match the cultural male image.  Virgo men often have a chip on their shoulders, because they're trying hard to be cool and in control.  Any emotional need which isn't expressed in neat, structured verbal terms can then seem like an overwhelming demand.  There is a strangely self-contained quality in Virgo, which goes back to our myth about the Goddess.  For a lover or partner to be able to tolerate this shutting-off tendency in Virgo, he or she needs to keep a sense of humour, because otherwise the criticisms can be taken hurtfully and the entire relationship can blow up with resentment. 

The thing that saves this complex and sometimes insufferable temperament from being really intolerable is that Virgo, if you can tell him the truth quietly and clearly, will always listen.  It's one of the most endearing qualities in the Virgo man.  If he's hurt you, or been cold, or been too structured, try articulating it.  Quietly.  He'll usually listen.  If you express it emotionally, he won't.  If you're the combustible type, with a lot of Scorpio or Leo, try a more resilient and less highly-strung temperament.  Virgo simply can't take angry explosions and tempestuous scenes, or long weeping sessions with lots of soggy handkerchiefs.  You'll often see Virgo men fidgeting, smoking heavily, biting fingernails, and doing other little acts which betray the tightly-strung nervous system of the sign.  Given the fact that the Virgo man will usually overwork himself anyway, it doesn't help his naturally fidgety temperament.  He needs lots of play, rest, and nature to heal him.  Usually he can't be bothered to make time, since that list has 'work' at the top of it.  So the onus falls on you to cajole him, reason him, or drag him to some place where after his initial whingeing he might even discover that it's quite pleasant to sit in the sun and do nothing. 

For all these reasons the Virgo man in love is not always every woman's
Brides' Magazine dream of the perfect husband.  It's a sensitive, high-strung, and complex temperament, rarely aggressive, more likely to let trifles and difficulties nag and nag inside before direct action is taken.  Virgo isn't Don Juan, although there are some fairly good imitation Don Juans floating about in the form of terribly insecure Virgos trying to pretend to be Sagittarius and Leos.  Trust,

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