and especially not in the ordinary little ways that make a love relationship so enjoyable. He is capable of sacrificing his life for a loved one. But sometimes the loved one feels like saying, 'That's very nice, but flowers would have said it better.'
I once knew an Aquarian man whose wife left him after six years of marriage. They had two children, a large house, an opulent lifestyle, and he was extremely successful in his profession. His profession involved quite a lot of travel, which meant long periods when his wife was left alone. It never occurred to him that she would mind this, because it never occurred to him to ask. He could handle it; he simply clicked off on those trips, something Aquarians seem to be able to do with ease. They simply shut down shop and shift to another department. He also found it extremely difficult to show his wife any affection in ordinary situations. To him, this was superfluous. He had proved his love because he had married her, fathered two children on her, took care of her, and was reasonably faithful to her. During one of his trips, she ran off with a friend, who had won her starving heart by writing her love poetry. My Aquarian client was beside himself with shock, grief and bewilderment. 'She kept telling me it was the love poems,' he said, baffled. 'Why? What difference does it make if somebody writes her love poems?'
His wife never came back. To this day he still finds it impossible to comprehend that the poems were to her a symbol for something - a recognition that she had feelings, that she was romantic, that she had a heart. To him, it was terribly unreasonable.
I have seen a number of Aquarian marriages go this way. When it's the reverse way around, with the woman an Aquarian, there's a different base. There the complaint of the man is often, 'She's so good, so fair, so self-disciplined. She makes me feel irresponsible and selfish.' And sadly, the unspoken part of this is that she can be pretty boring. Anybody who's unselfish and highly principled all the time will drive a lesser mortal into some fairly nasty actions, just to get an ordinary human reaction.
What, then, can Aquarius do? Perhaps realize that his abstract love of humanity should extend to include himself and his loved ones. Often this simple point eludes him. Generosity of feeling toward oneself and those close is part of the ideal of love; often, Aquarians miss it. Some of the zodiacal signs have a knack with personal relating; others don't. Aquarians has perhaps more difficulty than any other sign, because he often has so little sense of the 'personal' - including his own 'person'. Aquarius' ideals often mean too much to him because he hasn't got a sense of himself. We can, historically, make excuses for the Lincolns and Edisons of the world. In retrospect, we're glad they were such personal failures, because their humanitarian achievements were proportionally great. Perhaps that's Aquarius' role in the human family. But with a little balance, if you're not a Lincoln or an Edison, you can be a human too.
The Aquarius Lover
We've already said quite a bit about the emotional propensities of Aquarius. Perhaps a little recapping is in order. Remember what we said about the air signs in general: they live in the world of ideas, and tend to be frightened by emotion. This is truer of Aquarius than the other two airy signs because Aquarius is what its called a 'fixed' sign. This means exactly as it sounds. Fixity can also be translated as strength, stubbornness, or rigidity, depending on how extreme it is and whether or not that fixity is in agreement with you or not.
So Aquarius tends to repress his emotions. He often sees his emotions as a weakness, something embarrassing. You might deduce from that that he's not the world's most romantic or effusive lover. He's often charmingly na´ve in matters of the heart, and displays a winsome clumsiness which falls in weird counterpoint to his usually